MY MOTHER

A diminutive figure of five ft, one inch, 78 yrs old, to be exact 78 yrs and 4 months, my mother Parvathi Ramanathan fondly called Chellam by many from her childhood is no more with us. With great sadness I am sharing this grief with you all. Though a small figure she looms large in my mental eyes.

The long journey of her life is a perennial source of inspiration to us. Her trials were many but she weathered them all with firm dignity.

The story of her life started in the deep interiors of Kerala on Feb 14. 1929 at the village of Pudukode, where she was born as the fourth successive daughter into the family of Ayiloor Sivaramakrishna Iyer and Ganga, both belonging to the landed gentry of the erstwhile Kerala Brahmin “pattar” community. Her father Sivaramakrishna Iyer rose to be an eminent lawyer, practising at Thodupuzha, also in Kerala, where Parvathy’s childhood was spent along with her four sisters and a brother amid verdant settings in a palatial 25-roomed house. My mother’s thirst for knowledge and education could be seen then itself. At those times when it was unheard for girls to take up college education with her grit and determination she entered the portals of then prestigious Victoria college and got herself educated into college education. Her father lived with his family almost like a mini chieftain of the place, rightly termed as `tharavatu’ family. Cocooned in the security of a `tharavatu ottamadam’, my mother was suddenly catapulted into the metropolis of the then Bombay, by marriage to my father, Late Sri Ramanatha Iyer, son of Sri. Narayanaswamy Iyer, a station master of Olavakkot and based in the village of Kalpathy.

Our father was in the profession of export and import trade of textiles. My mother’s journey as a Bombay housewife started at the age of eighteen in the year 1947.

Successively we two sisters were born, my sister Radha and myself Rama. In the meanwhile, my mother enthusiastically joined the cosmopolitan mêlée of Bombay, learning to lead her life away from the vast vistas of lush green Kerala to a cubicled 2 and 3 roomed tenements of Bombay city. She further learned the languages of Hindi, Gujarati, Marathi, totally alien to her, and learned to lead a life in Bombay honing her skills at every step. She became an expert in tailoring, embroidery, and taught the same to a number of people. I can recall how deftly she used to cut pieces of clothes and stitch them with great ease, making frocks, lehengas and blouses for us to suit the occasion. She showed similar ease of understanding and learning in various spheres; in all aspects of home-making and social life, in teaching us when we were children, in learning music and other arts. In all spheres her keen sense of grasping and common sense showed its luminous presence.

Seventeen years after their first daughter, my parents got their only son Vijay Ramanathan literally after much penance of my parents and grand parents. He was a brilliant child gifted with exceptional intelligence. However when he was just fourteen years old, my mother faced her first tragedy. She had a rude shock in the loss of her partner, my father, following a massive heart attack. She was just 50 years of age. Our brother Vijay was just fourteen years of age. Her two daughters were, by then, settled away from Bombay and she was left alone to see through this terrible blow. With the help of her brothers, sisters and friends she rallied herself to the job of putting her life into order and taking care of her young son.

Her motto to live well and not get shattered by the events around her could be seen by the interest she took to the passion of travelling and understanding the world, a few years after my father’s demise. She travelled to Europe with a good friend of hers- Mrs.Kamala Hatangadi and also did pilgrimage to all the Himalayan shrines like Badrinath, kedarnath when she was in good health to withstand the journeys.

Her son Vijay Narayanan was indeed a brilliant ray in her life. He rose to great heights in a very short time. After doing his B.Tech, he went abroad and spent 6 years studying and working. As his bonds with his mother were very strong, he took his mother several times to United States in that short period and showed her around the length and breadth of USA with great enthusiasm. But this bliss for her was short lived. She lost her precious son when he was in his prime at the age of 27 and when she was in the evening of her life at 65.

It was the second greatest blow of her life. She withstood the blow with fortitude and started the final chapter of her life at Chennai. Her discipline and spirit to live the rest of her life meaningfully and a strong sense of independence directed the rest of her life. She devoted all the time at her disposal to enrich herself spiritually and in service to humanity around her. She attended numerous spiritual lectures at the Theosophical Society. Her earnestness in learning the scriptures can be seen with the sincerity with which she took voluminous notes and reflected on those truths. Her ardour for doing anything with sincerity and dedication was very high; she attended Paramarthananda’s lectures on the Upanishads and Bhagavad Gita twice over, each session of which takes three years for completion.

She founded the VRP Charitable Trust in memory of her late son and through this institution, she helped innumerable causes financially. Akin to the adage `the right hand does not know what the left hand does’ , the causes helped by her are coming to surface as streams of poor people call in to express their gratitude for the help received.

Her work for `Darshini’ – an NGO supporting the cause of visually impaired persons, over a decade is another point which causes wonder in her capacity for such quality work , looking at her age and the generation she belongs to. Twice a week, almost as a religious call she used to go to Darshini and offer her services as a reader. Her mind constantly used to think of ways to improve their lot by collecting donations or calling local artists to enrich the life of the blind students.

Her keen intelligence, sincerity for the task in hand made her work volumes unimaginable at her age. The many frames of Tanjavur which she crafted past the age of seventy, stand testimony to the dedication she showed for the work in hand. She was very good at culinary arts. She authored the cookery book `Time tested recepies of Palghat’ and it stands testimony of her interest in this sphere. The hand made `murukus’ she made were a legend by itself.

Her energy and enthusiasm for life could be seen in several more spheres. Her voice and singing was a gift she was born with. She devoted a good part of her life to further discipline her voice and sang melodious Carnatic music as well as Bhajans with élan. She used her gift of voice and diction further in learning and mastering the hymns of Hinduism under the tutorship of Sri. R. Subramania Iyer and learned the chanting of `rudram, chamakam, sukthams ‘ etc.

In her passing away too we could clearly see the Hand of Grace. Her exit from this world happened on the most auspicious day of the month, on the Ekadasi thithi and exactly on the same day her late mother left the mortal world to the abode of God many many years ago.

Bereaving her passing away are her two daughters Radha Shanker and Rama Venkataraman and her son in laws Shri. R.Shanker and Shri. K. Venkataraman also her four grand children Rohita, Ravi, Preethi and Raghu who held their grand mother most dearest to their heart.

Above all the most important part of her life was her friends, relations and well wishers. They were her source of strength, inspiration and love. They gave meaning and substance to her life. It was like she lived for them, in them, through them. So I dedicate this to all those she was associated, acquainted , wove the bond of friendship with and who helped her in living a meaningful, enriching life till the very end.

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